The Truth Hurts
by Lizzie-Pancho
Summary: Spoilers for Grave Danger and Bodies In Motion...you know why your here 'cause you follwed the evidence Words Nick thought he would never hear again.
1. Finding out the Truth

The Truth Hurts

Disclaimer. I do not own any of the characters from CBS's CSI...unfortunately: )

* * *

Nick was standing in the doorway, unable to move or utter a word. Both Grissom and Archie spun round.

"_You know why you're here? Cause' you followed the evidence_."

Nick never thought he would have to hear those words, the words that had haunted him, and here he was standing in CSI HQ with his boss playing this nightmarish message in front of him.

Grissom looked at Nick…he had never meant for him to hear the tape again, he thought he was out in the field with Sara.

"Nick…."

Nick turned away from Grissom and as a single tear fell from his eye he walked out of CSI HQ not stopping, not even for Warrick who called out to him as he walked through the corridors. Warrick walked into the AV lab where he had seen Nick leaving from. As he entered he realized what had Nick had been so shaken about. He looked over at Grissom trying to figure out why he would put Nick through the hell of hearing the tape again. Grissom's people skills were not very good but he instantly picked up on what Warrick was thinking.

"I didn't mean for Nick to hear the tape" Grissom said in an almost apologetic tone, similar to the tone of a small child after they have been caught red handed.

"Why are you even playing it, man?" Warrick was being unusually forceful with his boss.

"Warrick…" Grissom sighed, he somehow thought that if he didn't tell anyone about what he had found on the tape it wouldn't be true.

"There is a second voice on the tape….I think Walter Gordon had an accomplice." Warrick felt the feeling of dread washing over him, how could Nick cope with the knowledge that one of his kidnappers was still out there.

* * *

Nick sat in his SUV, his head tilted back against the head rest. He_ was_ coping, trying to get over what he had been through but hearing that tape brought all his emotions bubbling back to the surface. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the tape but it just kept replaying over and over in his head.

A loud tap at the window brought Nick out of his daydream. He jumped and turned to see who was facing him.

"Catherine?"

Catherine stood next to Nick's window with a mothering look on her face. Nick opened his truck door and turned to face Catherine, he stayed seated but swiveled round so his whole body was facing her.

"Nicky… Grissom told me about the tape, I'm sorry you had to hear about it like that."

Nick was unsure by what she meant, he had obviously heard the tape before, what could she mean 'heard about it like that'? Puzzled, Nick got out of his truck and stood in front of Catherine.

"Heard about it like that...Heard about what?"

Catherine realized she had said too much, and didn't know how to tell him, or if she should tell him at all. She knew that the HQ parking lot wasn't the best place to talk to him, so she insisted that Nick drove home. Catherine got into the passenger seat and Nick drove them both back to his place. Neither one of them spoke until they reached Nick's driveway. Nick put his SUV in park and turned to Catherine.

"Catherine…will you please tell me what's going on"

Catherine sighed and struggled for the words, Nick had already been through so much and she didn't know what the information of a second kidnapper being out there would do to him.

"Grissom…Grissom found a second voice on the tape that Walter Gordon left in the…left for you."

Nick's eyes widened he couldn't believe what he was hearing, maybe it wasn't true he thought, maybe Grissom was wrong. He tried to speak but his mouth had become dry and his whole body began to tense up. Catherine looked at Nick who once again had been reduced to feeling helpless and afraid. She gently placed her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Nick"

* * *

Grissom sat in his office, his elbows on his desk and his head in his hands. Nick had been through hell and now he had made things worse by letting him hear the tape, the tape that might push him over the edge. There was a knock at the door and Catherine entered.

"Gil…Nick knows about the possibility of there being an accomplice."

Grissom looked up and the look of confusion spread across his face. Surely Nick hadn't heard the other voice on the tape. No, Archie had stopped it before it had got to that part.

"How...how could…?" Catherine looked down at the floor wracked with the enormous feeling of guilt.

"I thought he already knew…I was consoling him when I realized that he didn't, but by then I had said too much."

Catherine sighed and looked at Grissom, hoping that he would tell her that everything would be all right. Grissom closed his eyes trying to mask his feeling of disappointment, not of Catherine telling Nick but at him not being the one who had. He was Nick's supervisor, it was his job, his responsibility, and he owed it to Nick.

"Where's Nick now?"

"He's at home…Warrick's with him…I don't think he should be alone right now."

Grissom nodded but didn't say another word, he watched in silence as Catherine left and walked down the corridor, he was once again left with his own thoughts. As Catherine walked she wondered how Nick was going to get over this, or if he ever would. Nick was strong and she knew this but at the back of her mind was the feeling that Nick would never be the same again.

* * *

This is my first attempt at fan fiction and was going to be a oneshot but I may continue the story. Please review, good or bad tell me what you think...thanks. 


	2. The meeting

Thanks so much for the reviews.

sokerfreek922Thanks for pointing out my continuity prob with Catherine getting back...I didn't think of that oops...I'll add something in. : )

NickGilGreggonumber1fanThankyou, yeah I am looking forward to writing the Nick Grissom confrontation...should be good...me hopes.

mudhousejunkie224and nicky69thankyou, I hope you will like my following chapters.

I'm not too sure about this chapter...hopefully my next will be better. Well here it is chapter 2 enjoy.

* * *

Nick sat down on his couch letting out a small sigh as he did so. Warrick was sitting opposite watching every move that the younger CSI made. Nick felt Warrick watching him and without looking up, spoke in a soft voice.

"I'm ok man" It was just above a whisper and although Nick had tried to sound convincing Warrick knew he was lying.

"Nick…it's me, you don't have to act as if nothing's wrong."

Nick again sighed, he shook his head and slowly looked up, his eyes meeting Warricks. He could feel the sting of tears building up and overflowing causing the salty droplets to run down his cheeks. He turned away from Warrick not wanting to seem week in front of his colleague and friend. Warrick sat for less than a second before moving over to Nick but it seemed like an eternity, watching his friend once again break down. It was at times like this when Warrick felt a rush of different emotions flow over him. Anger at Walter Gordon, guilt because it was he and his toss of the coin that sealed Nick's fate, uselessness at not being to help his friend and sadness at the thought that Nick may never be the same again. He stood up and walked over to Nick who didn't even acknowledge him as he sat down.

"Hey..Nick..you don't have to hide..you don't have to pretend"

Nick sniffed and wiped his eyes with the palms of his hands but didn't look up.

"I was…and now…what am I gonna do Rick?"

Warrick placed his hand on Nick's shoulder causing him to look up. Warrick gave his best comforting smile and spoke softly but reassuringly.

"I don't know man…but I'll be here with you all the way"

* * *

Grissom had called his team to the meeting room, everyone with the exception of Nick and Warrick walked in and took a seat in silence. Although Grissom had not formally told anyone, information spread quickly through CSI HQ and everyone from Ecklie to the receptionist had heard about Nick and the tape. Grissom waited for a minute looking from Catherine to Sara and finally to Greg, unsure at where to start. Grissom was just about to give his explanation but before he could say anything Sara spoke in a more forceful tone than normal.

"Where's Nick now?"

Grissom turned to Sara, her words just before he himself was about to speak put him off track and he had to take a second to think.

"He's…at home"

Before he could say anymore Sara spoke again.

"And Warricks with him?" Everyone in the room was worried about Nick but nobody could put it into words.

"Yes"

Grissom sighed and thought back to what he was originally going to say but his well planned speech had been lost the minute he had walked in and with the addition of Sara's questions Grissom was for once, at a loss. Sara sat with her elbows on the table, her fingers interlocked and her chin rested upon them. Greg was sat with his arms folded leaning on the table and Catherine was seated her hands in her lap. Each of then sat not moving a muscle, all waiting for the same thing. An explanation.

"A week ago the tape that was left by Walter Gordon for Nick was brought in as evidence. I had Archie go over it after I had listened to it and he found a second voice on the tape."

All of the CSIs that sat before Grissom were not satisfied although they did not show this Grissom could feel it. They wanted answers to why none of them were told, why Nick was not told.

"I told Archie to keep the tape secret, I wanted to be sure of what we had found before causing alarm…I didn't want to…" Grissom didn't know what he wanted or didn't want he was still unsure why he had not told Nick.

"Set Nick back, he was coming to terms with what had happened and was trying to get on with his life"

Catherine Sara and Greg lost their feeling of anger towards Grissom, they knew that he had been trying to protect Nick and him not telling anyone about the tape was just Grissom's way.

* * *

Well there it is, it's a bit short I'll try to make the next one longer. Please review, all comments will be read and taken notice of. : ) 


	3. Harsh words

Thanks again for the reviews guys.

I'm still not quite sure if this story is going to involve something happening to Nick ( although I do love to read those stories he he) or if it's just going to be about his and the gangs emotions. What do you guys think?

* * *

Warrick stayed with Nick all night, they mostly just talked, not about anything in particular and _not_ about the second voice on the tape. Warrick felt that Nick needed some normality to hold on to. After a long night Nick could no longer keep his eyes open and he drifted off to sleep on his couch. Warrick walked out of the living room and came back a minute later with a blanket, he draped it over Nick before sitting back in the armchair and letting himself fall off to sleep.

Morning arrived and Warrick was woken up by at knock at the door, he slowly and carefully got up making sure he didn't wake Nick who was still in the land of nod. He got to Nick's front door and opened it to see Sara standing in front of him.

"Hey girl"

He opened the door and Sara walked in.

"How's Nick?" Sara wasn't sure why she had asked the question, she knew that he wouldn't be alright, who could be with what he had been through.

"He's asleep now, but he's had a pretty rough night…"

Warrick sighed and sat back into 'his' armchair, Sara walked over after closing the door and sat in the chair next to him. Although they were there to help Nick there was an awkward feeling in the air, as if they were intruding on his life. They sat for a while both just watching Nick, watching his almost hypnotic breathing, hoping that he could at least be free of his troubles whilst asleep. Sara turned away from him and looked to Warrick who didn't move until she spoke.

"Grissom told us about the tape…about the second voice."

"Yeah…" Warrick let out a sigh "it's not fair…Nick was getting back to normal…well at least as normal a life as he could get back to after…"

It had been almost 4 months since Nick had been taken and still noone could bring themselves to say 'kidnapping', it was always referred to as 'incident' or, like Warrick, people steered away from mentioning it all together.

Sara nodded, she didn't need to say anything to show she knew exactly what Warrick meant, everyone at the lab knew it, everyone wondered how much more Nick would have to suffer. He'd already had more than his fair share or troubles.

* * *

Archie stared at the screen, nothing was on it but his eyes were glued, transfixed on it's blue glow. He couldn't get Nick's face, the face of horror and fear, out of his mind. The minute Grissom had told him to keep the tape between them he had a bad feeling, but it was Grissom how often was he wrong. He sighed as he finally took his eyes away from the screen, he shook his head watching as everyone in the lab got on with business as usual. As he did he wondered how long it would take Nick to be back to his old self, how long would it be before he could look at him without feeling hurt and betrayed. Archie dreaded the first meeting between himself and Nick. What would he say What could he say?

* * *

Grissom sat alone in his office, Catherine had already left after telling him to go home but he had stayed, he found his office the most comforting place to be, surrounded by his vast insect collection and his masses of books covering more subjects than a small library. After an hour or so of Catherine leaving, the lab began to rumble with noise as the day shift began their work. Grissom decided to finally head home. He picked up a few folders and headed of out of the lab.

As he walked up the path to his town house he noticed that his door was slightly ajar he paused and looked around. Nothing apart from the door was unusual, the man from across the street was out walking his dog and the newspaper kid was pedaling away on his bike. Everything seemed normal but Grissom felt something was off. He cautiously walked up to his front door and slowly he reached out with his free hand to push the door open. It creaked rather ominously and Grissom felt the hairs all over his body stand up on end. His eyes darted from object to object in his home before entering. After what seemed like a lifetime Grissom took a step inside, still cautious but a little less nervous. _Maybe he had left the door open_ he thought to himself as he closed the door behind him. He shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind, he walked in and placed his folders on his coffee table. He was about to get a drink from the kitchen when something caught his eye, something that shouldn't be there, something that Grissom _knew _wasn't right. He bent down and picked up the piece of paper bringing it up to his face to read.

_**You can't protect your people.

* * *

**_

Well there we are, another chapter done and dusted. I put that last part in to make it a possibility that there could be some Nick related action...or anybody related action really, but this is a Nick centered story sooo...

Anyway, hope you liked that chapter, next one will be on its way soon.

Liz : )


	4. Closer than you think

Thankyou so much for the kindreviews, I hope you will like this chapter it's a tad longer and hopefully good : ). Anyway on with the story. Chapter 4.

* * *

By the time Nick woke up Sara had already left. Warrick was in the kitchen when he heard Nick stirring in the living room, he stepped out and nodded to Nick. 

"Hey there sleeping beauty"

Nick groggily sat up, rubbed his face with his hands and rolled his neck in an attempt to get rid of the stiff feeling.

"Hey…what time is it?"

Warrick rolled up his sleeve and checked his watch.

"1:30...in the afternoon man…you must have been real tired huh"

Nick cocked his head and raised his eyebrows, meaning 'I guess so'.

"You want anything to eat" Warrick called as he walked back into the kitchen.

"Hey, you don't have to baby-sit me man, you can go home I'll be fine."

Warrick poked his head round the door to look at Nick who gave him a reassuring nod. He rolled his eyes and walked into the living room.

"No-ones baby-sitting" He said whilst sitting down opposite Nick.

Nick smiled and so did Warrick.

"Look man if you need anything just"

"Call…I will" Nick interrupted. Warrick sighed he didn't want to leave his friend but at the same time he didn't want to smother him. He slowly stood up, grabbed his jacket and walked towards Nick's front door, Nick followed and opened the door for him.

"Thanks Warrick"

Warrick nodded and put his hand on Nick shoulder before walking out and down the path to his truck. He got about halfway when he turned, just to make sure that Nick was still ok. He sighed to himself and carried on walking. He got into his truck and drove home.

Nick watched as the silver SUV drove down the street, he stayed leaning on the doorframe watching the truck until it disappeared out of view. Finally he stepped back inside and closed the door.

* * *

Grissom was unsure at what to do first, for a while he just stood, note in hand reading the words at least 3 times just to make sure that his eyes were not deceiving him. After deciding that the note was indeed real he placed it carefully on the table and rang Brass. They didn't talk for long but long enough for Grissom to explain to Brass about the note, and for Brass to say he'd be straight over with two uniforms. Grissom felt slightly comforted for a second, but then the harsh reality of the situation came flooding back. 

_You can't protect your people_, it wasn't the fact that the perp knew where he lived or that he or she had been in his home, it was that the message that was now lying on his coffee table was true.

* * *

Nick had been watching TV for a few hours when he heard a strange scratching coming from his front door, he instantly flicked the TV onto mute and listened for the noise. Sure enough it came again, this time bringing fear along with it. Nick stood up and slowly walked over to his front door, stopping at his phone table to get his back up weapon. As he walked he raised the gun, his breathing became fast and his heart rate increased with each step. With his right hand holding the gun he used his left hand to open the door. Nick decided to do it fast, get it over with, like ripping off a band aid. He yanked on the door almost pulling it off its hinges. He stretched the gun out in front of him, but there was nothing to point it to. No person standing there ready to pounce as Nick had expected. There was nothing. Then a noise, a noise that wasn't especially scary but never the less caused Nick's heart to jump up from his chest, a small jingling sound from down by his feet. He didn't want to look but pulled up enough courage, slowly he lowered his head to his doorstep. 

"Twinkle?" Nick sighed with relief he shook his head and opened up his door.

Twinkle was next door's rather large ginger cat and for some reason unknown to Nick he had taken a shine to his home and although Nick wasn't a cat person he didn't have the heart to turn him away. Every time the cat appeared Nick placed a saucer of milk down and today was no different. He closed the door as Twinkle walked in, the cat, now accustom with Nick's home walked straight over to the fridge. Nick followed placing his gun back in his safety box under his table. He was glad that he hadn't used it on Mr Twinkle not only would it be horrible and Nick never liked anyone who injured animals but Nick wasn't too keen on his neighbours and the feeling was mutual, he didn't want the task of explaining that he had shot their cat on his doorstep. He opened the fridge and poured out a saucer of milk Twinkle, grateful but greedy tucked straight in. Nick laughed and walked over to his couch. After a while the milk was gone and the cat decided he had better places to be. Nick let him out and then retired back to his couch.

An hour passed and decided to get ready to head into work early, maybe he shouldn't have been going to work but the quietness of his home was too much, he needed to be somewhere he felt safe and that was at work, surrounded by people he cared for and who cared for him. He got up from the couch and walked down his hallway to his bathroom. He turned on the shower, got undresses and stepped in

The water dribbled down his skin and Nick felt almost comforted as though the water was washing away not only the dirt but his troubles as well.

After a while Nick got out and dried himself off. He got changed and walked back into his living room, the TV was still on he picked up the remote and presses the small off button, the TV flickered and turned to black. The house was plummeted into silence and Nick needed to get out. He grabbed his keys and his jacket and left his home pulling the door closed behind him as he left. He climbed into the driver seat and drove off to work unaware that danger was closer than he thought.

* * *

_I can see you Stokes, you can't hide from me…I'll always find you…always._

* * *

There we go chapter 4, hope you enjoyed it, as ever reviews are welcomed. Thanks for reading, see you for chapter 5...I hope. 

Liz : )


	5. It's not your fault

Sara was on her way to work, she drove exactly the same way as she always did but something seemed different, something about the whole day seemed different. She stopped at a set of traffic lights. She stared intensely at the lights watching them changed from red to amber to green. Green, the glow, all the sounds of the busy street drifted into a blur and all that Sara could see was the image of Nick lying in the box and she couldn't look away.

"Nick" She mumbled.

Then something caught her attention, a slight banging sound of in the distance. It was getting louder. All of a sudden everything rushed back, the harsh noises and lights of the street infiltrated her senses.

"Hey lady!" A rather red faced man was standing next to Sara's window, his hand banging on the glass.

"Move it…the lights green!"

Sara shook her head, trying to bring herself back to reality.

"I'm sorry" She mouthed to the man.

She repeated the words but this time they were not aimed at the man standing by her window. She put her truck in drive and continued on her way to work.

* * *

Nick sat in the break room the TV was on but he wasn't really watching it, his mind was elsewhere. He needed to be at work but the idea of actually focusing to get any work done seemed an impossible task. He decided to just stay in the break room, maybe he could build up to getting something done later on, he was early so he had plenty of time.

* * *

"Gil" Brass said as he walked into Grissom's home. Grissom nodded a hello.

"My guys have just cleared the area, whoever was here has long gone" Grissom sighed and took the note which was now in an evidence bag that Catherine had brought.

"I've got to get this to the lab, Catherine's going to stay here and work the...scene."

Although this situation was completely different Grissom got a small incite into what Nick must have been going through with Nigel Crane, how it feels when the one place your supposed to be able to return and feel safe gets violated and turned into a crime scene.

"Gil" Catherine said as she walked up to Grissom. She looked down at the note and back to him. They were both thinking the same thing and didn't need to voice their concern.

"I'll meet you back at the lab" Grissom turned and walked out of his home and down to his truck. He placed the note on the passenger seat and drove off to HQ.

* * *

"Hey Grissom" Greg called as he caught site of his boss walking through the corridor at a rather quick pace. Grissom stopped and turned.

"Yes Greg"

Greg paused and looked down the hall to the break room.

"I err just saw Nick, he seemed a bit….distant you know…."

Grissom nodded he knew that he needed to talk to Nick, but just didn't know what he was going say.

"Thank you Greg" He turned and walked down to his office, he placed the evidence bag containing the note into his desk draw, he'd deal with that later, first he needed to speak to Nick.

He walked into the break room to see Nick who was staring at the book cabinet.

"Nick" Nothing, no response.

"Nick"

Nick jumped and turned to the door way, he opened his mouth to speak but couldn't form the words. Grissom noticed and walked over to him, he sat down next to Nick who didn't move. They sat in silence for a moment neither one knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry Nick" Was all that Grissom could manage. Nick stayed still, his eyes again focused on something in the room. There was silence for a moment and to Grissom the silence was deafening. Then, in just above a whisper Nick spoke.

"It's not your fault"

Grissom shut his eyes, even in the roughest of times Nick was always Nick. The kind, gentle man that always thought of others before himself. Grissom thought back to the time in the police station as they stood and watched Nigel Crane.

"_Its not over for me….its over for Jane Galloway."_

Grissom sighed and turned to Nick.

"I should have told you about the tape…"

"What's done is done Griss…I just want to move on…and"

Nick wasn't even sure himself what to do let alone explain it to Grissom. He turned to look at Grissom for the first time during their conversation.

"I'm gonna to be fine…I am fine" He knew he wasn't but the last thing he wanted was for everyone to be worrying over him, he wanted to deal with it, it was his problem and he wanted to stand up, be strong and make it go away himself.

Grissom looked into the brown eyes of the young man sitting next to him, his eyes conveyed more than he could ever say and Grissom was unsure that the sadness within those eyes would ever fade. He was about to speak but realized nothing he could have said would have made Nick feel any better. Instead he decided to say nothing and the two men sat in silence side by side hoping that one day things would be back to normal.

* * *

Thanks for the comments and reviews they do wonders on an ego lol...Well anyway I hope you liked this chapter, the story seems abit slow at the moment and I hope that you'll stick with me while it's pace begins to pick up. As always any review is welcomed and although I do love a good review if there's something you don't like feel free to point it out, I wont bite...much. Thanks for reading.

Liz : )


	6. Watching and Waiting

Sara arrived at HQ and headed for the break room. As she rounded the last corner she took a deep breath, knowing that Nick would most likely be in there. It's not that she didn't want to see him, she just didn't know what to do, how to react, what to say. She was never good at being the one people could lean on when in trouble.

Slowly she walked in and gave a small smile which neither Nick nor Grissom saw. Nick was still sat on the couch staring at the TV and Grissom was up pouring himself a cup of coffee. The tension in the room was al most unbearable.

"Hey Nicky"

Nick slowly turned his head to see Sara standing in front of him. The corner of his mouth scrunched up and what looked like a half hearted smile appeared on his face. Sara felt as though her legs would give way right there and then. Where was the smile that used to brighten up her day? Or the laugh that was infectious and used to spread through the lab like wildfire? Where was the life that shone so brightly in his eyes? Where was Nick?

Grissom turned away from the counter upon hearing Sara. Their eyes met for a second, both silently conveying there thoughts and fears. Sara closed her eyes and turned away, she knew she couldn't think like that, no-one could they had to be strong, that had to be there for Nick.

* * *

Warrick pulled up in the parking lot just as Catherine was getting out of her SUV. She was searching through her bag and was about to head in when she saw the familiar sight of Warrick's truck. She stepped aside and watched as he parked up and got out.

"Hey Catherine" His voice was dull as though speaking was a task, one in which he put no effort into. Catherine walked over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder as they began walking into the building.

"How you holding up?"

Warrick gave a quick smile to try and convey how he was without words.

"It's Nick we should be worrying about."

Catherine sighed. She knew that Warrick was putting on a brave face, everyone was. They both walked into the lab hoping that the day might be a little better than the day before.

* * *

From behind the bushes that surrounded the parking lot the dark figure watched as Warrick and Catherine walked into the building

"You better say goodbye to Mr Stokes…I'll get even…you wait and see."

The sinister figure stayed watching and waiting, waiting for the moment to pounce, the moment that would cause Nick Stokes' world to come crashing down once more.

* * *

Hey, I'm real sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up and it's only a short one. I've been a bit busy, I had some exams and some stuff I had to sort out but hopefully thats alldone anddustedso I should be able to update more often.

Well even though it's short I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, as always any reviews are welcomed.

Liz : )


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